Tag Archives: Office

Employee Placement Method

Employee Placement Method

Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs?  Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

  • If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.
  • If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
  • If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.
  • If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.
  • If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.
  • If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
  • If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
  • If they’ve left early, put them in Sales.
  • And if they’re all bullying each other, they’re Management material.
Cheers & Enjoy my Future Posts
MMK
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Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

10.”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

9.”This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”

8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time.”

7. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”

6. “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”

5. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?”

4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

3. “The coffee machine is broken.”

2. “Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.”

1. ” … in God‘s name, Amen.

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