Category Archives: Mankind

News Headlines from the past IV

News Headlines from the past  IV

 

31. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

32. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

34. Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy

35. Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire

36. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood

37. Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half

38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

39. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Employee Placement Method

Employee Placement Method

Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs?  Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

  • If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.
  • If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
  • If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.
  • If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.
  • If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.
  • If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
  • If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
  • If they’ve left early, put them in Sales.
  • And if they’re all bullying each other, they’re Management material.
Cheers & Enjoy my Future Posts
MMK
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

10.”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

9.”This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”

8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time.”

7. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”

6. “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”

5. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?”

4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

3. “The coffee machine is broken.”

2. “Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.”

1. ” … in God‘s name, Amen.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

What do you think is the most destructive force to mankind?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

News Headlines from the past III

News Headlines from the past III

21. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

23. War Dims Hope For Peace

24. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

25. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

26. Deer Kill 17,000

27. Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

30. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

News Headlines from the past II

News Headlines from the past II

11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

12. Eye Drops Off Shelf

13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids

14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death

18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Motivational products don’t work. But Demotivators products don’t work even better

“Motivational products don’t work.
But  Demotivators products don’t work even better.”

Motivation:  Psychologists tell us that it can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can’t be manufactured. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of “motivational” products and services? Because in our shallow times, people desperately want to believe there are simple solutions to even the most complex of problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.

I believe it’s time people face the truth- that any kind of motivation you can buy isn’t worth owning, and in the end will produce even great demoralization. Given that inevitable fact, we’d like to invite you to skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointment that follows! Our legendary Demotivators products are peerless in The Art of Demotivation. They will leave you feeling just as depressed and uninspired as even the most insipid motivational poster might, without first subjecting you to the indignity of misplaced hope! Enjoy! (As if that’s even possible…)

Tagged , , , , , , ,

News Headlines from the past

News Headlines from the past

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: